Friday, February 17, 2012

Moving day is finally here!

The new website is finally (at least rudimentarily speaking) up! Please use this link for the new Tales of a Sierra Madre site. Thanks for looking/reading...  http://taleasofasierramadre.com/

The earlier posts from the old site are currently down but all links and new posts should work fine. Cheers!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

...Valentine's

There was that great break up on the Third Street Promenade when an ex-was picking me up, giving me a ride home, bringing me chocolate ( a chocolate bullet no less) and explaining that while I was a way for the weekend that he was off chasing a ten year younger virgin skirt, couching it in the terms , 'i thought you should know.' The flower seller on the street next to us offering long stemmed cliches to help us out. We were having none of it. You guys are pathetic she yelled at us. I had a hunch this new chick was younger, skinnier, easier to handle, less demanding. I probably wasn't willing to go into that nice polite good night but it hurt nevertheless. And the flower seller was right. We were pathetic. I ate the chocolate anyhow over two nights with some wine.

There was that season where your letters went absent and it took awhile for me to notice but when I did notice it all came back to me. I drove around aimlessly three months later wondering if we were friends. I had Elvis Costello's Blood & Chocolate with me and Jane Siberry's The Walking, and neither of them helped this process finish any sooner. Playing their songs in the car was like taking a perfectly healed scab and picking at it just to see the blood again and again. Eventually I lost interest or the scab healed overnight, or someone momentarily took your place.

And all those lovers who did Valentine's day right and sent cards and chocolate and flowers and knew to go to Hallmark and get the proper fetting, well I let them go. Hauled them out back with all their biowaste and set them on fire. Clearly, I could not have a lover who would approach it this way. It became a test. Say I love you and die. Arabian Nights. You are all dead by morning. Nothing you said made the night last longer or my desire kept at the edge.

And then there is you. And I can't figure you out. You don't show up with flowers or cards. Sometimes a book covered in dust. Sometimes the link to a song. Perhaps I'm just cheap. Perhaps you just shop at thrift stores and dumps. I go into your mouth, into your body, I travel up the veins searching for sentiment, searching for your answer, your call and response. I say ten years, you say.......? And on the back of your throat I think there's a whisper of I love you. At the bottom of your lungs I feel traces of you're mine. The heart with all its locks...I try to pick at it, convinced I have the skeleton key.  It is a tiring hunt, a relentless expedition, but I keep at it. Stopping to rest a moment at your belly and again at your feet. You have no need of me. So I hang out awhile longer, longer still.

Happy Valentine's suckers...

Monday, February 13, 2012

Be my Valentine

In a wacky turn of events, the husband and I are in the same place at the same time for Valentine's day. Never happens this way. I'm in that day before panic of do we celebrate this Hallmark shit or not?

Lately I've taken to not wanting to leave the house--that makes for a bad Valentine's date. I'm better off making sure the kids have their Valentine's done for school and calling it a day. There's the off chance that he might present me with a card or something. There's the off chance that I might as well. But it's a school night and we're old. Hmmm...

The years are blurring.

Monday, February 6, 2012

Seventh Grade Theft...

Excerpt from the Marlene manuscript...published by Pigeon Town today. (Click on the title to get you there...).

West Germany. Early 80s. Ramstein Air Force Base.

Friday, February 3, 2012

Mother Lingerie

I recall reading in an Anais Nin diary that at one point all her beautiful clothes were tattering and then she realized that while she had excellent clothing--she had not actually purchased anything new in a decade and it showed. Suddenly she was tattered and older and she wasn't sure when the transition took place.

I'm feeling like that this week. I suddenly realized looking down at a bra I had just put on that had holes , runs, snagged and absolutely no shape left that I bought this bra and its twin in a different color, the month after I stopped wearing nursing bras. My daughter just turned 7. That was 5 years ago.

When did I become the Depression Era grandmother happy to make due with an extra safety pin. Perhaps it is because I feel guilty in buying new clothes--I'm a thriftstore shopper--but never buy lingerie used because of the cootie ew factor.

I went through my lingerie drawer last night. That sounds fancy. I really mean the top dresser drawer that shares the space with opaque tights, unused toys, and mix matched socks. There was not a thing I owned that wasn't 5 to 10 years old. Sigh.

But here's the thing. I"m like a moth with the light on when it comes to making purchases of lingerie. I can't just buy.  My size is weird; it causes me to have to spend more. I feel weird about spending more, so I don't spend anything. Then there's the sex factor. Bras house sexuality. Bras my size are meant for matrons who want function over form. Makes the search harder. Every now and then I find something my size and sexy and then feel guilty about the purchase. Don't we need gas in the car? Isn't there a bill to pay and you want your breasts housed in art deco fabric? What's wrong with you? Sigh. They don't need to be that perky and gravity defying you're middle aged! (Which is precisely why they need to be gravity defying).

I bought three bras this week after six hours of online shopping. I had fun. I'm looking forward to their arrival via the nice people at the post office. I'm looking forward to throwing these old things in the trash (no respecting thriftstore would have them). I feel so relieved but decadent at the same time. Me. Mother of two. Buying something. For me.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Streaming, Baby!

So, while it's a little nerve wracking to suddenly realize you might have more than 25 listeners...KQNY is now streaming. What's that mean for me? For you? It means if you really, really want to you can log onto www.kqny919.org and listen to my show Milkshake & Honey every Monday afternoon from 3-5 pm. My portion of the show is 3-4 pm and the lovely Amelia Beck takes over from 4-5 pm. Milkshake & Honey has a full description over on the radio site but basically (according to the husband) it's ethereal chick music. No actually it's just a great sampling of mostly new releases done by interesting musicians that Amelia and I dig at the moment.

Early in February---Feb 2nd I believe, I will be hosting a second show called 'Under the Covers' , Thursday afternoons at 1:30 pm. Under the Covers will explore what the local book clubs in the county are reading, interview local and visiting authors, and review new books.  Email me if you have a book I just have to read! Or let me know what your Plumas County book club is reading. Come one air with me and talk about it.

Indian Valley needs its own K-12.



 Every time I hear about school closures in Indian Valley I want to buy folks in Sacramento topographical maps of Plumas County. Yes, we have a tiny county of 20,000 people. Yes, it seems ridiculous that a small geographical area should have so many schools but geez, guys a simple TOPOGRAPHICAL map would indicate why this is so. Our smallness is only as the crow flies, not driven.

And so again, for at least the third time since my family moved here in 2002, there is talk –amplified this time—about school closure.  What if we as citizens of Indian Valley just refused that to be an option? What if we came up with our own option?

Every time I drive over the grade on highway 89 in winter I think of the 1997 Atom Egoyan film The Sweet Hereafter where a tiny town’s entire population of children die in a freak accident when a school bus slips on ice in winter.  Sure, it’s fiction, but it’s what all of us think about when we hear the idea of busing children to Chester in winter---and we know winter in Chester can last half a year.  The district seems to be asking Indian Valley residents to suffer this anxiety and be helpless to stop it for the duration of their lives in Indian Valley. That’s just not acceptable.

But here is what is acceptable. One K-12 in Indian Valley. Clearly, that is the will of the majority of the people here in Indian Valley if the status quo is no longer viable.

How do we do this? How do we offer quality education to our child, which is on par with the rest of the state, nation and prepares our children to be competitive in the global marketplace?  We need to take charge of our community from a point of strength and offense. Too long have we been on defense and that just leads us down a road of negativity.

If we take stock of what we do best, and acknowledge what has not worked for us we will be on the path to a better education system for our valley.

What do we do best? We are an involved community. We know the kids. They know us. We have an exceptional amount of talent here and we live in the arguably most beautiful part of the county.

What do we not do best? Roughly a third of our school age kids if not more do not attend the public schools either now or ever. We haven’t bothered to ask homeschoolers and private schoolers why this is. What would it take for a school to meet the needs of all of the valley’s children? We haven’t acknowledged our faults that have led to some of our more embarrassing issues of public education, chiefly: systemic race issues, grade inflation, and a good old fashion lack of gumption on the part of some students and families (not all by any means).  We have been serving the middle in public education in Indian Valley, but we offer much, much less to those that need help the most and those that achieve the most.  Imagine a K-12 in Indian Valley that could serve the needs of students seeking/needing the typical experience, the alternative experience, the special needs experience, and the gifted experience.

The Negative Reality: We have a broke state, dwindling tax income for the area, expensive teachers of retirement age not retiring, teachers that do not challenge our students to rise to challenges, students uninterested in achievement, a suicide epidemic, a high teen pregnancy rate per capita, rampant drug and alcohol use.

The Positive Reality: We have a caring, talented, close-knit citizenry, some promising students, some very nice and sweet students, and ample space for a K-12 school. We have a few outstanding teachers that do challenge their students and encourage them to do their best. 

Solution: One public K-12 educational program in Indian Valley.

How do we get here?
1)We implement technology better. There’s no reason every child in the valley shouldn’t have complete computer access. AP Classes could be delivered online via teleconferencing, www.k12.com or other such technologies. Technology has much improved since the district first settled on its current programs of delivery.  

2) More collaboration with FRC. Let’s let them know what we need here and bring the instructors to us! So many instructors for FRC actually live on this side of the county.   Course offerings can be done even in times of financial crisis if there is enough enrollment for a course. Encourage high school students to get their feet wet taking classes at the college. We can also do a better job of instruction on our end so that FRC doesn't have to offer so many remedial courses.

3) The people in this valley are more than equipped to lend expertise in vocational and professional programs. We can make this happen if given the chance. 

4) True, non-biased assessment of our students.  Too often grade inflation has occurred in the district. Have all teachers adhere to a basic rubric of 90-100 an A and on down. How are we to know where we are failing if we don’t assess equitably? Often students without computers at home do poorly on computerized tests.  Students need to have regular eye and hearing exams to catch problems. Stop penalizing students in dysfunctional family situations for not having the peace and quiet at home to read in the evening and encourage it in the classroom instead.  Acknowledge the need for recess, downtime. Acknowledge the intrinsic value of art, music, theatre, curiosity and critical thinking in a student’s development.

5) Acknowledge the Ugly Truth. If students are passing some classes with A's and can barely read or write while failing others that adhere to higher standards there is a disconnect.  We need to hold both students and teachers accountable to meet and respect the high bar, not the low bar. 

6) A better job of emotional intelligence. Students do not do well in school when there are problems in the household. We have many a broken family in this valley. For some its poverty, for some its illiteracy, and for some its drugs and alcohol or lack of any sort of structured home life.  The very nature of these children’s lives already penalizes them and sets them apart from their more functioning peers. Let’s insist on a system for our valley that encourages mentorships, friendships, and lifelines to these students. Busing our children out of here is not going to solve any of these issues and might marginalize them further.

7) Encouraging Exploration. We need field trips and connections to the outside world. Our children need to know what’s out there beyond the county. They need exposure to a variety of job and interest prospects in their futures.

8) True Diversity. And finally—and perhaps most poignantly given our valley’s recent history-- celebrate difference and keep minds and hearts open rather than attempting to shut down and bully difference.

We must reform to survive—that much is clear. But reform should not mean abandonment.

Some of us were born to this valley for generations; others –like our family--adopted this valley as home because of its beauty, its friendliness, its quirkiness and that blessed feeling we get like we landed in a place like no other on the planet.  We have a simple demand of the school district that would seek to destroy  and devalue us: one K-12 public institution in Indian Valley whose mission will be to educate all its children in a fair,  innovative, challenging and equitable environment. 

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Lifelearning (Community Ed) Japanese Film Appreciation Class

It's a go! I'll be teaching a Japanese film appreciation life learning course (no-credit) at the college on Thursday evenings starting Feb 23rd for 8 sessions. Come join us!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Lady Ink

Lady Ink published 'Ballad of Grace' last month. Forgot to put it here! http://www.magcloud.com/browse/issue/318113

Penduline Press feature

Interviewed me and featured me in their third issue! I don't normally talk about writing and writing erotica or writing Los Angeles, but there it is. Fiction laid bare. (Pun entirely intended).