Borderline Diabetes---No drinking, no coffee

When you say you might have diabetes or that you are on the border people automatically give you advice. Especially relatives. Especially mothers. “Well, you need to cut out sweets, and chips, and junk food. I eat better than anyone I know. This is just kind of a joke. Right. I eat better than most people I know. Organic and what not. I know what quinoa is, how to spell it.

But when you are borderline you are in between worlds right? You kind of get those moments where you think about having toes chopped off but then you also have that moment of ‘okay I don’t have it yet so im’ going to eat this cheesecake and then go jogging to work it off.’ Like you won’t wind up in the hospital yet but you are still out to tempt fate anyway.

But cutting out drinking and coffee made me realize something big about my life ---I apparently have what’s called an addictive personality. I thought back a bit. It all started to make sense. People always think I’m calm and not stressed out usually but that’s cause I’ve got ways to cope!

For instance, I’m addicted to social networking and time wasters like scrabble, facebook. That sort of things. People think that I’m being high and mighty about not having a TV and not watching TV but truth be told I LOVE TV. And it’s not like I was watching masterpiece theatre when I had one. I was watching Celebrity Death Match, and VH-1 had this show that was like A&E biography for stars from the 80s. I’d be sitting there watching MC Hammer lose his house, the guy from Motley Crue near death ODs. And the show was the same every time. 15 minutes in the announcer would come on and say “he had it all, was at the top of his career….and then? The drugs…..”

So yeah, me---no drinking or less drinking. No coffee…or less coffee. There are only so many things you can give up when you have kids under six in the house. But so now I drink only a couple times a month and have coffee every third day. That’s as much as I can give up at the moment. And I’m a total addict for both cause I say things to myself like ‘is it Wednesday? Can I have coffee ? “ And of course I’ve been looking forward to this margarita for the better part of three weeks. ADDICT.